Self Sacrifice
by gingerz.will.rule.the.world
Summary: FemNaru Naruto hears a voice in her head, it tells her to do bad things. She doesn't want to but sometimes it gets to be too much and she breaks a little bit. But there's a boy who has eyes that can save her from 'the demon', and she can save the boy from himself. They're both children forced into a world of killers, perhaps they could share their burdens. Naru/Ita/Sasu
1. Broken

Summary - FemNaruA nameless shinobi who protects peace from within its shadow. Sasuke creates a new dream to destroy Konoha, the only thing standing in his way is Naruto. But what if Naruto was a part of the Massacre in a way Sasuke doesn't know or can't remember?

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><p><strong>Preface-<strong>

In this fan fiction, which is AU, Fem!Naru, and Itachi/Naruto/Shisui - it's more of a sibling relationship with some implied romance. This is a Mature rated Fan Fiction. With Dark Themes, Mature Themes, and things some people would prefer not reading about. It features abuse, self-harm, attempted suicide, torture, suicidal thoughts, abundant cussing, rape, character death, lots of death and a lot more fucked up shit. I will tag the beginning of a chapter that may contain anything that is described in detail that I feel is overtly mature. Also almost the whole story is just one big flashback, though a bit more complex. It's rather angsty and all out disturbing, which made it quite interesting to write.

This story revolves around Naruto, who is a girl in this fic. Naruto's connection with the Kyuubi/Kurama is a bit closer, though, for the most part of the story, she does not know about him and simply thinks that the voice inside her head is 'the demon she really is'. Naruto is more than ignored and glared at in this and while the Sandaime would have never allowed this, he is much more busier in this (which is not a coincidence). Naruto will be a bit OOC in the first couple of chapters. The story will progress pretty slowly, too.

I reserve the right to change facts about the main story at any time. If it doesn't seem to fit, and you think I just made a typo, please PM me or Review. If you want to advise me on something you think I did wrong, please Review or PM me and I will look it over. I admit to not having a Beta, so it seems like my work is half done. As for the updating, it will be very irregular. My muse comes and goes, and I'll admit I'm just outright lazy.

Also to those who wish this was yaoi, I attempted to write it like that, but it just didn't seem right. So I was forced to do a sex reassignment surgery on poor Naruto :(

All in my entire goal here is to make you all either cry or at least make your chest hurt. I hope you enjoy my story (while crying your eyes out) :D! (~'o' )~

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><p><strong>Chapter starts here -<strong>

_Two figures stood, panting on opposite sides of the battle field. One, a young blonde woman with blood stained hair down to her waist, the other, a young man, who had spiky, black hair in a shape reminiscent of a duck's butt ._

_They were surrounded by shinobi from almost every hidden village in the elemental nations, each having their own battle with the outcome of the Summoning: Impure World Resurrection jutsu._

_"I guess… this is it, eh Sasuke." The blonde girl smiled painfully as she formed a Rasengan with the help of a clone._

_Sasuke merely growled her name as he charged up a Chidori, set on killing the girl who stood in the way of his revenge. "Naruto."_

_The clone that had assisted in forming the Rasengan grabbed the original's hand, spinning her around and launching her at Sasuke, who pushed off the water, boosting himself with chakra to meet the blonde mid-way. Everyone, Shinobi and undead Shinobi alike, stopped fighting and was watching the former best friends, as they flew towards each other, jutsu in hand._

_When the two powerful techniques met, a light enveloped everything, and suddenly images started flashing in front of everyone's eyes so fast they couldn't comprehend what was there before it was replaced by another delineation, after a few moments they gradually slowed down before settling on a single image._

_**Self-Sacrifice: Broken - Chapter 1**_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto_

_(!)Warnings- Dark Thoughts, Attempted Suicide, Death_

_Upload Date- 03/07/12_

A young girl with hair that looked to be made of sun beams and blue eyes that could rival the ocean sky which sat upon a whiskered face seemed to be emotionlessly scanning the hundreds of still and bloodied bodies that surrounded her. The girl's ear twitched as her sensitive hearing picked up on a low, pain filled moan, in a blurred streak of yellow she was looming over the source of the noise, a young women, perhaps thirteen at the most, clad in nothing but dirtied and soiled rags. Fearful eyes looked up at the blond, silently pleading with her; the blond child hesitated before the words **He** told her resonated in her head.

'_no one is to be left alive'_

Blue eyes filled to the brim with unimaginable pain and regret before tanned lids momentarily shielded them from the world as the blonde's clawed hand came down upon the slave girl, splattering the blonde's face and hair with the girl's blood. Blue eyes opened to take in the massacre she created, the pain and regret gone from her blue orbs, leaving behind a lifeless void.

'_For Konoha. For Konoha. For Konoha-'_

She caught a sudden flash of light and turned to realize it was just the moonlight being reflected off one of the many swords that were scattered across the camp. The young girl silently made her way over to the katana and collapsed before it as she held her chest. It hurt; it felt as if that sword was lodged in it, she wanted to stop hurting. The blonde turned her eyes to gaze longingly at the corpses before her; they didn't feel pain, why couldn't she not feel pain? Her gaze returned to the sword before her, she closed her eyes, letting a single tear flow out. In one swift movement the sword was out of the ground and coming toward her chest, fixing to pierce her heart. Blood once again splattered across her naturally tanned skin, mixing with the tears that had broken free of her mental dam, yet the pain was still there.

Her eyes gently fluttered open again to reveal she was still surrounded by the bodies of those she brutally murdered not long ago; she looked down at her chest and discovered that the sword did not make it through, only the tip was buried within her flesh, perhaps just nicking her lung. She examined as a drop of blood fell from her wound and trickled down the sword meeting a bloodied pale hand that seemed to glow in the moonlight, she watched for a moment as the blood from the hand mixed together with her own. Curious to who the hand belonged to, she allowed her gaze to trail up the pale arm and face to meet the most enticing eyes she had ever seen. But the demon that she really was said otherwise, it told her to rip the beautiful eyes from their sockets and crush them till they were pathetic spores of dust in the wind. She was about to comply with her real self's demands, when she looked further into those brilliant orbs. While she was momentarily distracted by his eyes' crimson color that was reminiscent of the blood that covered his face, she could see it, behind that thin layer of indifference, his eyes were like hers.

**Broken**

The blonde barely registered as the boy asked her if she was alright, she was too engrossed by his scent, a lustrous mixture that if she had to put into words, she would say it was an assimilation of night and power. It filled her senses and slowly ebbed away at the pain in her chest, she found herself wanting more as she buried her head in his chest, ignoring the pain of the sword dislodging itself from the movement, she burrowed deeper in to the warmth as the boy hesitantly wrapped his arms around her, she suddenly realized she was crying as sobs violently racked her body but decided she didn't care, a part of her reasoned why should she trust this boy but the other part of her choked that portion until it shriveled up and died, for this was the first time she felt safe in a long time and even then she was sure she couldn't have felt as safe as she did now.

She vaguely noticed that the red eyed boy had stood up with her still in his arms and was dancing through the trees with ease that only a leaf shinobi could possess. The small blonde slowly drifted off to the lullaby that was the boy's steady heartbeat.

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><p><em><strong>There's this girl in the mirror, I wonder who she is. Sometimes I think I know her and sometimes I wish I did. There is a story in her eyes, lullabies, and goodbye. When she's looking back at me I can tell… she's hurting inside.<br>- Unknown**_

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><p>The blonde awoke to the buzzing of crickets and the chirping of birds. Years of flash mobs after her head, attempted assassinations, and villagers trying to burn her alive inside the comfort of her own home, caused her to be instantly awake and taking in her surroundings like a true shinobi. She found that her shirt had been removed and bandages had been wrapped around her chest, she was in one of the forests surrounding Konahagakure and from the redness of the sky she could tell it was close to dusk.<p>

Looking up at the crimson empyrean, instead of images of blood flashing before her eyes, a set of equally red orbs appeared in her mind and instead of the usual pain that arises in her chest; there was a… warm and fuzzy feeling. She briefly wondered whether those enticing red eyes from last night were a dream or reality before her thoughts were disrupted by a presence making itself known behind her, the girl turned her head slightly to take in the sudden guest. The pale skin and swirling red eyes told her that it was not a dream or perhaps that she was still dreaming. Not one to stay quiet she decided to say what was on her mind.

"Are you going to kill me?"

This seemed to surprise the boy, though he hid it well, the blonde girl was good at knowing one's emotions, though she didn't know why he would be surprised. Why else would he have taken her from the slaughtered bandit camp other than to kill her or at least have a bit of fun with her? Perhaps she really was dreaming.

"What do you mean?" this was said in a rather monotone voice that most would consider emotionless, but she could hear the underlying confusion and… fear? Did he fear her? If so why would he go through the trouble of carrying her to wherever they were? Why not just let her end her sorry excuse of a life?

Cocking her head to the side like a confused puppy, which unbeknownst by her made her look extremely adorable though the blood that still covered her person made her actions quite creepy, the blond decided to voice her question. "Why else would you take me away from the camp?"

It took a moment for even the ever observant red eyed boy to get past the sheer captivating yet disturbing motions, to process what the blue eyed girl had said, and even then he was at a loss for words. What was wrong with this little girl? No, what was wrong with this whole picture? Why had he saved and taken this bloodied little girl who had most likely killed all those people in that camp and was therefore a threat to his beloved village? Was it because she was about the same age as his own little brother? Was it because she had attempted to kill herself? Was it because she was like him...

**Broken**

He didn't get to muse any further as he was interrupted by very violent coughing and a dull thud as the object of his thoughts hit the ground. He was at the blonde's side in a millisecond, checking her over, his observant eyes were quickly drawn to her hand which was stained crimson in blood, it didn't take a genius, which he was, to figure out that she had coughed up blood.

"Shit"

The quiet curse in the air and small puddle of blood were the only things left of the two children as the spiraling leaves caught in the wind gently drifted to the ground.


	2. Blue Clouds and White Skies

_**Innocence -: Chapter 2**_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto_

_(!)Warnings- Dark Thoughts, Demonic mind rape_

_Upload Date – 1/20/13_

The children made almost no sound at all as the boy skillfully danced through the trees, a feat only experienced leaf shinobi could even hope to accomplish, with the blond haired girl on his back. What was even more remarkable was that his mind was elsewhere as he flew through the forests of Konoha.

The now black eyed raven was furiously thinking on what to do. Should he go to Danzo or Hokage-sama? Or perhaps he should go to neither and merely take care of the problem himself. But where would he go?

'_Shisui has that apartment… it'll have to do.'_

Naruto opened her eyes, blurry and clouded from sleep. She blinked them rapidly, chasing away the blurriness. The blonde took in the darkness of the world around her, panicking she sat up abruptly, thinking the villagers had attacked her again.

She calmed down as she realized that this place did not smell of old blood, rotting flesh and semen, on top of the fact that she had not woken up to immense pain. Now that she was awake enough to think straight, memories came rushing back to the front of her mind.

The girl shot off the bed she hadn't notice she was in and when she looked down and saw she was in an unfamiliar blue pajama top, she was even further confused, as well as a bit anxious. She quieted her thoughts as she heard voices coming from another room, they sounded to be arguing. She tip toed to the doorway and stealthily peeked around the door frame, to see her rescuer arguing with another, slightly older boy with the same swirling red orbs.

"_**Kill them! Kill them and rip out those infuriating, deceitful eyes from their sockets-"**_

She quickly crushed the demon's thoughts; she won't do that to her savior. The boys were so enveloped by their argument that they hadn't even noticed the little girl. **She could have already slit the both of their throa**- no! She cannot think that way about the one who saved her. She was interrupted from her inner battle as their argument had caught her attention.

"Shisui, it's a little girl."

"A little girl that just killed a bunch of people!"

Are they talking about her?

"Maybe she's like us."

Like them? Did they hear scary voices in their head, too?

"But you don't know that! You just brought an unknown, possibly dangerous girl into the village without even checking who she was or where she came from."

"It's a little girl. We are more than capable of stopping a little girl."

Stopping her? How dare there look down on her! She could… she could-

"_**KILL THEM!"**_

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO! Please- please don't make me."

She clutched her head, willing the voice to stop, she didn't want to kill them, she didn't like killing

_**You do, you love it-"**_

"No! I don't, I swear!"

"_**-the feeling of blood seeping through your fingers, the look of fear in their dimming eyes, the-"**_

"please! Please stop!"

She had done something to anger the voice she knew, he was punishing her. What did she do? There was a clawing feeling in her gut that felt like a vicious animal was in there, trying to rip her apart from the inside. She wanted it to stop, she wanted the pain to go away, she wanted the voice to leave her alone!

"_**you like it, you know you do. Stop denying it. You like it because-"**_

"NO!"

"_**You're a…"**_

She felt grateful the voice hadn't finished its sentence, but she wondered why. A sense of intense fear and frustration flooded her, it felt distant, she wasn't the one feeling it. It was the voice, but why? What could make _**it**_ feel fear? She pried open her eyelids that were stuck together from her tears, she hadn't even realized she was crying… _pathetic_.

A shock of red met her vision and immediately a _sense of calmness_ washed over her, it was short lived though as she could feel the "bad" chakra seep through her veins uncaring of the burning feeling it left in its wake, the demonic voice working hard to break that **bastard's genjustu, the nerve of that Uchiha to control _him_!** She watch the boys brow slightly furrow as the calming feeling rushed back with more potency, somehow quelling the bad chakra back to whence it came.

She felt like she was on a cloud, drifting low, above the deep black ocean, she could reach down and touch the water; she let her fingers glide through the obsidian sea as she drifted on her puffy blue cloud but…**what if a shark came and it chomped down on her arm and dragged her down deep into the ocean where she could not hope to get a breath of air**-No. There were no sharks here in this peaceful little paradise of floating blue clouds under a white sky  
>but…<strong>that did not make sense clouds were not blue and skies were not white and you could not lay on a cloud you would fall through into the icy cold grip of the inky blackness below-<strong>No. Here and only here you can lie on puffy blue clouds under a white sky just skimming the surface of the deep black ocean without falling through into its clutches.

Naruto decided she wanted to stay here forever.

"What… the hell was that!" Shisui exclaimed.

Itachi was breathless. His eyes followed the tear tracks down the girl's face revealing three horizontal lines on either side of her cheeks. He heard Shisui's sharp intake of breath over his shoulder, he must have realized it as well. Itachi felt shaky, how could he not when he had just came face to face with the Kyuubi, albeit very briefly. As he was applying more chakra to the genjustu he had placed the girl under after the sudden burst of chakra, the room around him flickered into a sewer like cavern containing the fox inside a massive cage held shut by a piece of paper. In a split moment the sewer piped walls changed back into the peeling paint of Shisui's walls, the fox disappeared as the red that had seeped in to the child's blue eyes left and the cage protecting him from the Kyuubi had transformed back into the child before him.

Suddenly a thought struck him. '_Maybe she's like us.' _He looked at Shisui, by his paler-than-usual face, Itachi assumed Shisui was having much the same thought as him. He stood, shakiness relatively gone- he had lived through the Kyuubi attack, a little demon chakra would not put him on his knees. Itachi looked at his cousin and best friend, his mouth fell open and words spilled out in a hushed voice.

"**Danzo has the Kyuubi jinchuuriki." **


End file.
